Choosing Accountability over Blame
A key component for us to be successful in making change a positive experience in our lives is ‘Accountability’.
While this term has been used synonymously with ‘Blame’, it is actually different. And because we have not understood the difference between the two, we often do not take accountability for events in our lives. If we did, it would actually ‘free’ us. Rather we choose to blame and thus remain unhappy victims, feeling stuck and unable to move forward.
Blame occurs when we give our power away to someone, something or a situation which we have decided has been the ‘cause’ of our pain. It thrives on fault finding and censure, both aspects of judgment. It seeks to make someone else ‘responsible’ for a situation, yet it comes with an ‘emotional charge’ attached to it. This immediately causes separation which in turn, results in creating a dichotomy of victims and victors. This dynamic becomes even more insidious when we blame ourselves, resulting in feelings of guilt, shame and self-denigration. We constantly beat ourselves up for not being good enough, stupid or inept – all of which results in debilitating feelings of powerlessness.
Accountability occurs when we choose to accept that everything, whether positive or negative, good or bad, has a purpose; that it is part of our experience to help us learn and grow in life. This does NOT mean we ‘like’ or ‘condone’ a situation or what someone has done – we can still ask them to accept accountability for their actions. But with accountability, there is no ‘emotional charge’ attached to it. It simply ascribes responsibility to the source of the situation at hand, and seeks solutions. The ‘emotion and commotion’ associated with blame is replaced by an invitation for one to become aware, recognize, accept and change that which needs to be rectified.
The value of this approach is that it opens the door to solutions, a way out or through whatever is challenging us. When we move away from fault finding and accept accountability for a situation, regardless of how spurious it appears, we place ourselves in the driver’s seat. We open ourselves to resolution (re-solution), a quality which returns us to center – a neutral space of peace and calm. We do not allow ‘emotion and commotion’ to overtake our sensibility and fuel reactive behavior. Rather, by taking accountability, we simply acknowledge what is, and work within it to resolve that which is causing our pain or suffering.
While it takes great clarity and courage to take the path of Accountability, once we are on it, we realize how freeing it is. We disengage the Ego’s hold on us, and reengage our Soul Consciousness, within which reside all of our solutions. No longer is there a ‘need’ to blame for we recognize that all along, we were mistaken in thinking that someone or some situation had power over us. With Accountability, we realize that the only power anyone or anything can have over us is that which we give to it.
Deep within each of us lies a knowing that we are powerful beings whose light cannot be eclipsed by anything or anyone outside of us. The time has come to reconnect to this knowing and make the necessary changes so that we to can find the solutions we seek, in every arena of our lives, for empowered living. While circumstances in our material and mortal lives will undoubtedly challenge our faith, trust and knowing, rest assured that choosing to let go of blame and replace it with accountability, results in our liberation from the constant pain and suffering of a world filled with blame.
In my own journey, I have realized that nothing happens in my world, without my playing a key role in it. This realization empowers me to take full accountability for how I experience someone, a situation or myself. When I feel challenged by life, I question my thinking, change my perceptions, and accordingly rewrite and change my story. This results in more flow, clarity, harmony and peace within all areas of my life. And while this is a process that requires great patience, perseverance and time, the results are well worth it.
Give it a try – the next time you feel compelled to point a finger, simply take your hand, place it over your heart and say ‘I accept total accountability for my life and all that is taking place within it!’. After all, what have you got to lose except ‘blame’!